&My, how things have changed.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fate will not control us.
2 posts in one day?! You must be bored, Abbey!
No. I'm just...upset.
I think I just realized how easily someone's life can be taken away from them without warning. It's amazing how many people live to their ages: it seems like death is everywhere. I feel so...cold, and scared ever since last night. I just feel something bad coming. I hope to God I'm wrong...I can't lose anyone else.
Ever since I was old enough to understand my mom's death, I have been so immensely afraid of loosing my dad. What if he gets killed on his way home from the casino tonight? What would I do? I wouldn't have anyone, he is all I have had for so long.
It's terrifying to know that one stupid idiot texting and not paying attention to the road can determine the rest of your life. It's horrible to think that one blown out tire or one bunny running across the road can have such a dramatic ripple effect, ultimately changing and determining lives.
I don't want to be afraid of dying. I just want to appreciate the live I have lived so far. I need to stop looking to the future and start focusing on now. I need to let my friends know I love them, because what if something happens and the next time I see them they're laying cold, dead and pale in a shiny wooden padded box in a room filled with the stench of death.
I hope that cold skin is something you never have to feel as you lean into a coffin to give your mom that one last hug. I hope that smell doesn't linger in your senses until the day you die. I hope you never have to experience loss; there is nothing more devastating in the world.
I just want people to appreciate who/what they have in life. I just want to appreciate my life, and as of now, I'm going to make it a priority to do so.
No. I'm just...upset.
I think I just realized how easily someone's life can be taken away from them without warning. It's amazing how many people live to their ages: it seems like death is everywhere. I feel so...cold, and scared ever since last night. I just feel something bad coming. I hope to God I'm wrong...I can't lose anyone else.
Ever since I was old enough to understand my mom's death, I have been so immensely afraid of loosing my dad. What if he gets killed on his way home from the casino tonight? What would I do? I wouldn't have anyone, he is all I have had for so long.
It's terrifying to know that one stupid idiot texting and not paying attention to the road can determine the rest of your life. It's horrible to think that one blown out tire or one bunny running across the road can have such a dramatic ripple effect, ultimately changing and determining lives.
I don't want to be afraid of dying. I just want to appreciate the live I have lived so far. I need to stop looking to the future and start focusing on now. I need to let my friends know I love them, because what if something happens and the next time I see them they're laying cold, dead and pale in a shiny wooden padded box in a room filled with the stench of death.
I hope that cold skin is something you never have to feel as you lean into a coffin to give your mom that one last hug. I hope that smell doesn't linger in your senses until the day you die. I hope you never have to experience loss; there is nothing more devastating in the world.
I just want people to appreciate who/what they have in life. I just want to appreciate my life, and as of now, I'm going to make it a priority to do so.
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius!
So I just ended up, through a series of me creeping on someone's myspace and then reading their horoscope and other continuing events, on this website about zodiac signs and compatibility. Apparently Aquarius and Sagitarus better watch out, I'm supposed to hate you! Which is weird, I think generally Aquarius and I get along pretty well...hmmm.
Anyhow, I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm about to die.
Yesterday there was an accident right by my house that killed two people. I was driving home and went to turn onto this dark scary road that is really curvy and people always go speeding down. Apparently if I would have been driving by like ten minutes earlier I would have died. I don't know, it's just scary to think about something like that. Esp since I have always had this feeling that I'm not going to live to be 18.
Ever since that, I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. If I die tonight, let this blog be evidence of my psychic abilities that no one else believes in! I don't have much to say today. Actually I do, I'm just bored of being on the computer since I just spent 4 hours doing work for my online AP Physics class. That said, I'ma go shopping! Peace out.
Anyhow, I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm about to die.
Yesterday there was an accident right by my house that killed two people. I was driving home and went to turn onto this dark scary road that is really curvy and people always go speeding down. Apparently if I would have been driving by like ten minutes earlier I would have died. I don't know, it's just scary to think about something like that. Esp since I have always had this feeling that I'm not going to live to be 18.
Ever since that, I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. If I die tonight, let this blog be evidence of my psychic abilities that no one else believes in! I don't have much to say today. Actually I do, I'm just bored of being on the computer since I just spent 4 hours doing work for my online AP Physics class. That said, I'ma go shopping! Peace out.
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