The night has just begun, the moon is low in the sky.

I feel...tired.
I feel...sad.
I feel...stressed.
I feel...alone.
I feel...bad.

I am not having a great night. I wish I had someone there whenever I needed them. But I don't, and it's a lonely feeling.

Things change, and I realize that.
People change, and I understand that.

Sometimes I just wish I could go back to a simpler time.
I want to be 6; having a swimming pool was the coolest thing ever.
I want to be 8; my best friend was right around the corner.
I want to be 10; Oregon Trail was the most stressful school work I had to do.

12 is when it all started getting hard: school, life.
I lost my best friend, but I still had me.

Lately it feels like I don't even have that anymore.
I have lost myself in the past year and a half or so.
I used to dance in line at the movie theater, and climb on walls and run around.
I used to scream whatever came to my mind, I didn't care what people thought.
I never tried to please anyone but myself.
In trying to please you, I lost myself.

I want me back.
I'm trying.

I want someone to be there for me--not say they'll be there for me and sketch out over the stupidest simplist things.

I want a guy who will snuggle and watch movies with me, and hold me until I fall asleep.
Not even a boyfriend. Just a friend.

I just need someone. I'm not sure why.



I can't sleep.