Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out.
The thing I hate the most about myself is that I don't learn from my mistakes like I should. I give people chances that they don't deserve and end up hurt over and over again. The worst part is that I'll do it again and again, because I always convince myself things will be different.
It really sucks that some people take like...everything for granted. &Maybe I was one of those people, but I'm definitely on the opposing side at this point. I need to start putting my faith and trust only in people I know that won't mess everything up. But as many times as I tell myself that, and as much as I know that that's what I need to do, I doubt it will happen.
I hope you're reading this. &I hope you realize what a good thing you threw away.
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I've been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down. And it's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out. And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around. You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, I don't want to hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry.
Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know. Could've loved you all my life if you didn't leave me waiting in the cold. You had me falling, and it never would have gone away. You used to shine so bright but I watched it all fade. This is the last straw, there's nothing left to beg for. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry.
It really sucks that some people take like...everything for granted. &Maybe I was one of those people, but I'm definitely on the opposing side at this point. I need to start putting my faith and trust only in people I know that won't mess everything up. But as many times as I tell myself that, and as much as I know that that's what I need to do, I doubt it will happen.
I hope you're reading this. &I hope you realize what a good thing you threw away.
All this time I was wasting hoping you would come around. I've been giving out chances everytime and all you do is let me down. And it's taken me this long, baby, but I've figured you out. And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around. You don't have to call anymore, I won't pick up the phone. This is the last straw, I don't want to hurt anymore. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry.
Looking so innocent, I might believe you if I didn't know. Could've loved you all my life if you didn't leave me waiting in the cold. You had me falling, and it never would have gone away. You used to shine so bright but I watched it all fade. This is the last straw, there's nothing left to beg for. And you can tell me that you're sorry, but I don't believe you, baby, like I did before. You're not sorry.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What's fresh, it's our turn, baby!
Ahhh. Summer. It's come with much sweet relief. So much to update. So let's start at the beginning!
Before I left for Europe, so sad, June 9th made it 9 years since my mom died. Sad stuff. I gave blood that day (trying to save someone else the grief of loss) and passed out. It was a pretty intense experience! Kinda scared me away from ever donating blood again, though. BUT. On a lighter note :D.
Europe!? Sooooo suh-weeett!! I had an amazing time and made a few new friends that I know will be around for a while (which for me is a rarety). Plus! I got to see things that most people only dream about, so I'm willing to look past the roachmotels and awful food and appreciate how much better my life is than all yours'!!!
Then I got back aaannndddd?!? Happy Birthday to me!!! 17! R-rated movies. First authorized R movie I saw was Bruno. Well, I may not be seeing anymore for a while :D. Psych. I have been going to the movies like every day since I've gotten back! I've seen Bruno, I Love You Beth Cooper, The Proposal, Transformers, The Ugly Truth, Orphan, Ice Age, and probably a few more that I can't really think of at the present moment in time. Anyhow, not the best birthday but, hey! Who cares because...
The day AFTER my birthday my daddy informed me that when we move?! His wife and her demon child won't be coming with. YESSSSSSSSS!!!! Now I'm counting down the dayssss.
(Plus he told me I'll get my own Tivo?! How excited am I!?)
Next!? Parrrrrty time! Shhhh, I can't talk about that though :D.
After that?! Actually not much has happened since then other than oodles of self-realization, most of which has occurred in the past like two days. Today, I woke up, and I felt and still feel great. I'm in the best mood right now as I probably have been all summer. I realized that things reallllly can get better. I have realized that I have lotssss of people who care about me, and the ones who really do are the ones who deserve me in their lives! All the others can suuuck it!
I realized that I don't need some people in my life to be happy, despite prior beliefs. ACTUALLY, I think that I'll be better off without them. Despite SOME OF YOUR beliefs, I think I deserve to be happy as much as the next guy, and I've decided to take my life into my own hands and DO THAT! Woooo for me. I'm going to take what I thought was the worst summer of my life and make it the best! I don't need fools bringin' me down!
As for the rest of the summer?! Soooo much to do! I have to do like a bajillion and fifty summer assignments (booooo) but I'm going to Hawaii in a few days (woooo)!!!!!!!!! Best decision I ever made. Well, I hope all you have a goooood rest of the summer. See you as sennnioorrrss!!!
Before I left for Europe, so sad, June 9th made it 9 years since my mom died. Sad stuff. I gave blood that day (trying to save someone else the grief of loss) and passed out. It was a pretty intense experience! Kinda scared me away from ever donating blood again, though. BUT. On a lighter note :D.
Europe!? Sooooo suh-weeett!! I had an amazing time and made a few new friends that I know will be around for a while (which for me is a rarety). Plus! I got to see things that most people only dream about, so I'm willing to look past the roachmotels and awful food and appreciate how much better my life is than all yours'!!!
Then I got back aaannndddd?!? Happy Birthday to me!!! 17! R-rated movies. First authorized R movie I saw was Bruno. Well, I may not be seeing anymore for a while :D. Psych. I have been going to the movies like every day since I've gotten back! I've seen Bruno, I Love You Beth Cooper, The Proposal, Transformers, The Ugly Truth, Orphan, Ice Age, and probably a few more that I can't really think of at the present moment in time. Anyhow, not the best birthday but, hey! Who cares because...
The day AFTER my birthday my daddy informed me that when we move?! His wife and her demon child won't be coming with. YESSSSSSSSS!!!! Now I'm counting down the dayssss.
(Plus he told me I'll get my own Tivo?! How excited am I!?)
Next!? Parrrrrty time! Shhhh, I can't talk about that though :D.
After that?! Actually not much has happened since then other than oodles of self-realization, most of which has occurred in the past like two days. Today, I woke up, and I felt and still feel great. I'm in the best mood right now as I probably have been all summer. I realized that things reallllly can get better. I have realized that I have lotssss of people who care about me, and the ones who really do are the ones who deserve me in their lives! All the others can suuuck it!
I realized that I don't need some people in my life to be happy, despite prior beliefs. ACTUALLY, I think that I'll be better off without them. Despite SOME OF YOUR beliefs, I think I deserve to be happy as much as the next guy, and I've decided to take my life into my own hands and DO THAT! Woooo for me. I'm going to take what I thought was the worst summer of my life and make it the best! I don't need fools bringin' me down!
As for the rest of the summer?! Soooo much to do! I have to do like a bajillion and fifty summer assignments (booooo) but I'm going to Hawaii in a few days (woooo)!!!!!!!!! Best decision I ever made. Well, I hope all you have a goooood rest of the summer. See you as sennnioorrrss!!!
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